How becoming a hot mess makes you a better pole dancer


Are you in the process of trying something new? Perhaps you’re just starting a new skill like pole dancing or a new hobby like sewing - or maybe you're trying to change the way you think so that you can have a better life experience? 

Are you finding that it challenges you? 

Are you getting irritated by some aspect of it? Are you starting to doubt yourself? Is it testing your patience?

Maybe you've thought to yourself at some point during this new experience that you will "just never change, you'll never get it." 

I’ve found this is a common theme among my students that are “leveling up”.


What do I mean by level up?

Let’s say you’re a solid Level 2 student. Been taking classes religiously every week and you feel strong, solid and supremely confident. You know what time it is when you start to feel so good, so confident of your abilities?

It’s time to feel like a hot mess again.

This confidence is the surest sign that you are ready to graduate to a more challenging level. The thing that happens when most students go to the higher level is they feel like a small fish in a big pond again. However. Remember how you felt when you first started pole? Super awkward and like you couldn’t do anything. 

And look at you now.

Remember this next time your instructor is teaching you a complex trick and your brain is telling you, “I should be doing better at this than I am.” That, or you’re thinking, “My instructor is Satan.”

Sometimes things take time. Actually, many times doing awesome things take time. I know, we all want to be good at things right away...

But think of it this way:

You wouldn't go outside and plant flower seeds and then stomp your foot on the ground that day and demand, "Come on flower, grow!"

You wouldn't do this because you've been taught that flowers need time to hatch and grow. 

Some of us never learned that same fact about ourselves and our desires.

Instant gratification is a great thing, but so is taking joy in the process of our desires. Instant gratification is a wonderful feeling that Amazon Prime provides us all with on a regular basis; however, I have learned that taking joy in the process is a whole other story: different, yes, but it brings  a joy that instantaneous pleasures can't hold a candle to. 

Don't forget to every once in awhile sigh deeply. It feels good. Take a moment to stare off into the distance and let your mind ponder the wonder of growth, or the wonder of...anything, really. 

Celebrate a small victory. Celebrate another one, no matter how tiny or seemingly inconsequential....did it make you feel good? Then it's a victory. 

Think about that metaphorical seed you planted. 

That flower isn't going to grow in a day, but when it pokes its head out of the  soil and you see that bud for the first time, you'll know this feeling I speak of.

And, man, when it happens It. Is. Delicious. 

That’s what the process of our desires is all about.

Post Script: I have been witness to many wonderful things in my life happening VERY quickly. Not all things take a long time to reveal themselves to us. In my experience though, these speedy blessings can only happen when that paradox of "being okay right now and enjoying working the process" stuff is already going on inside you. You can't be pushy and impatient and be trying to force anything. Ah, gotta love it. 

And, actually, I do.